This is How I Disappear
I left the hospital room a bit frustrated. Every time I ask her, she refuses to tell me what her sickness is. It's killing me. Maybe if she tells me I can help her somehow. Perhaps it's unexplainable, unforgivable, demanding for her blood and her health, like little fangirls demanding One Direction tickets.
I start heading home by streetlight, and only the many stars above me making this dark night less gloomy. I don't care what happens to me. You shouldn't either, I mean you were never there anyway. I must admit, her words hit me like a wrecking ball. Get ready for a séance, I guess.
But she was right. I was never there for her. It was for the best of us though. I've done a lot of things that she should probably never know of. I disappeared. I wanted to be left alone, hide my face from every one. Forever. But I couldn't do it. I missed her too much.
She's a famous living dead, with her pale skin and sick appearance. Drowning people in sadness when they look at her in that hospital bed. If only she would tell me what she has. If only she would talk to me openly, so that I can assure that all the good girls go to heaven, kiss her forehead, hold her hand, and tell her that everything will be alright. But I can't until she forgives me.
Can she notice that I am desperate for her forgiveness? I'm sure that I don't have the guts to actually tell her that. I might as well try though; even though I'll choke on my words. I want to tell her more than just 'Forgive Me' and earn her full trust again.
I guess I'm now really with her anymore, just like a ghost. Well at least I won't hurt her, just me. But if this is what she wants, let her be. Let me sink; let me go. I'm not even sure I'm going to go there tomorrow. Without her, I disappear.
I look up to the sky as raindrops begin to fall on the ground. Five minutes later rain starts kicking in harder so I start to run as fast as I can back home. I spot a bar and decide to enter. I really need a drink.
I enter the bar and sit down in the counter. After a drink I hear someone calling me. "Hey, Azrael!" I turn my head to the side and spot one of my friends. He comes and sits beside me. "Hey! Long time, no see huh?"
"Yeah," I answer with little interest in my voice.